1. You're Stats:
Name: chris… pronounced GILES
Astrological Sign: ford Taurus… pronounced “sex”
Where Were You Born?: Tulsa, Oklahoma, home of the something
Ethnicity(ies): white american asshole
Any Languages Besides English?: some Spanish, lots of cursing
Shirt Size: 4
Pant Size: throbbing crotch region
Color(s): verde, or, as us cursers call it, “fucking green bitch. Suck my pene.”
Article Of Clothing: invisible crotchless thong… long story.
Ice Cream: cold
Song/Track: as album is to Olympics?
Perfume/Cologne: as girls are to guys. That was easy.
Magazines: revolver is the shit. And anything anal.
Store(s): what kind of IQ test is this?
3.Have You Ever...:
Lived in Europe: if texas is Europe, then yes.
Been Taken to the ER: er, what?
Ridden a Horse: yeah, a plastic one with a quarter slot.
Cheated on Someone: yeah, but my battleship can move anytime I want it to. Fuck B4.
Kissed Someone of the Same Sex: gay jokes aren’t funny online.
Betrayed A Close Friend: Fuck B4
Stolen: that was my battleship game.
Practiced Religion: yeah, but those 2-a-days fucked with me.
Seen A Ghost: yeah, but bill cosby scared me more
Done Something So Embarrassing You Couldn't Show Your Face: I’ve gotten over the ‘not showing your face’ part by now.
Have A Crush On Someone: yeah, but I come to find cats don’t speak English…
Desparately Love Someone: gato no habla ingles fuckface
Have a Secret: thousands
Want Cosmetic Surgery: yeah, I hate my small tits.
Wish Your Significant Other (if you have one) Did Something Else For A Living: yeah, why can’t you be a dog. How’d I know she’d stay a cat. Damn that fucker. Be a perro shithole.
Feel Bitter About Anything: filling out these things.
Want To Get Married: god, will bestiality ever prevail?
Want Children: CATMANS
Want A Pet: a midget
5.Write The First Thing That Comes To Mind After Reading The Following:
Cockroaches: in the restroom dead at my work
Grapefruit: purple fags
Porshe: I have an inverted penis
Green Eyes: me
Sashimi: god bless you
Pornography: tryps VCR
Religion: Jesus H. Christ, Attny
I Am (referring to yourself): now referring to myself because parenthesis say to do so
Big Breasts: in my mouth
Video Games: pot
SUV: big disaster if it hits me
Pasta: Italian poon
Friends: dumbest show ever.